swimming

I went to the library today to check my email and respond to messages and found my inbox flooded with people’s lives and happenings and wishes and thoughts and greetings. I left after two hours not having finished all that I wanted and feeling as if I was developing a headache. Not only have I been swimming in Italian, now I was swimming in the messages dropped thoughtfully from across the ocean.

It’s hard to think that in two week’s time my time might be engulfed in school work and that I will not have the privileged time to respond to emails and wander around the Internet idly looking for news, facts and flights. But I came here to Italy to learn, to immerse, to disconnect, to grow and then, to go back. I anxiously await in the silence for university to begin, filling my time with writing, reading and yoga to set a rhythm over the idleness, to give myself a sense of routine.

It’s hard to be so far away from those I care about, not able to just sit and have a cup of tea with friends, to just be surrounded by spoken English, to just settle back into the familiar. I keep traveling and changing my life slightly so that I have new adventures, explore new facets of the planet and myself and ultimately grow as a person. That’s why I am here, to grow a little more before I transplant myself for good. This is a period in my life where I discover what independence is all about, dealing with the stress and worry along the way but ultimately steering confidently from the captain’s deck.

I love my friends and family very much and wish I could just pick up the phone and let spill what my fingers have to articulate. It’s fine, I’ll deal. And my head will stop spinning. Then, I’ll be able to sit down and write nice notes, breathe in and continue living here and now so that when I get back I’ll be able to tell my stories in a dormant English anxious to breathe again.