finding home

My body hasn't adjusted to sleep here, waking up at 1am to plan the photos I want to print for my room and watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy in Italian. A day spent wandering around, buying little things and straightening out other things has just made me feel slightly better. Once orientation hits, I will feel intinitely better. I think I may also be experiencing Internet relapse. My walls are still very white, but with phone calls from my mother and from my friend Marina who might visit this weekend I can only feel loved even though I ache for just a hug from someone familiar. Henderson the teddy bear isn't sufficing for now. I will go home and write, unconnected to the Internet and perhaps feel better.

There are things that I love about this city and about my apartment... The rich deep red curtains that cover the windows on the outside of certain buildings, the bell tower that chimes in the evening rising from the chiesa santo stefano outside my window, the heat that is back in my life, the yoga that is constant in my life. Perhaps a little music and I'll be set. I can't really figure out this whole settling down into a city again. Routine and habits need to work their way back into my life. Perhaps daily visits to Ferrara Frutta for fruit and veggies, morning writing, evening wine, a constant eye for photos. Although life itself is not constant in the very least, having those steady elements makes you feel safe, and right now, I don't know what it is, but I feel a bit exhausted and unpositive internally about things. Perhaps a full night sleep and I'll be alright.