Finally, I've felt it. I had a moment this afternoon where I knew I had found my centre. That feeling where my mind is alight, thoughts and inspiration are brewing and life is spilling forward.
For these past few weeks, fresh in London, fresh in my Master's program, I've been feeling rushed. Perhaps it is merely a consequence of living smack dab in the middle of Central London (the world rushes by at my door), but the pace has felt frenetic. The work has been an adjustment, but it's all art and ideas that I welcome fully. London, as a city, is bursting with energy, there is always something happening, plenty of free art to be enjoyed, never a dull moment (and seemingly never a moment of repose).
Part of me started to think that the rhythm of London would just always be that way, in flow, in flux, much like the weather which can be mercurial and wildly changeable even within one afternoon. Walking down the street, you settle into the pace of those around you, going, going, going...
But part of me needed to settle, to find peace, to find those moments when writing and thoughts spill over. This year is very much about finding my voice and taking charge of my education. I've wanted to be immersed in the study of art and here I am. No moment of frustration can ever take away the blessing of this moment in my life. I am in total immersion in art, surrounded by curious art-minded intellects, world-class displays of human expression, and plenty of books and lectures and reading!
But now, for the first time, I've finally started to find my rhythm, started to let go and trust the spontaneity of life (because it really can deliver some wonderful surprises when you least expect them). Sure, I'm still trying to strike a balance, but it is the see-saw of life. Balance is but a momentary and elusive instant.
And in those moments of letting go, I've surprised myself. Although not in a groove quite yet, my yoga practice has become deeper almost unintentionally. I float up into headstand without a second thought and full wheel pose just materializes. It's quite beautiful to sink into new depths, find new focus in the poses I've done hundreds of times.
Today, with an early visit to the market, a yoga class and plenty of cooking, I'm really enjoying life. (avoiding work? i tell myself I am waiting for moments of inspiration to really engage with all the texts I need to read...)
And slowly it unfolds, always different, always moving, unexpected and wondrous.
I'm finding my pace, finding my place, finding my centre.