While my London venture is still over two months away, I am already feeling a whole bunch of emotions.
I'm excited. A degree focused on nothing but art? I couldn't be happier. And plus it will be at a school that has a stellar reputation in art circles and said school is an easy walk down the road from the stellar National Gallery, one of the many London museums which are free.
I'm scared. Oh no, I'm going back to school (initial excitement fades in and out). So far some of my classmates sound super cool (read: AH!), Fulbright scholars, museum employees... After my initial freakout, I settle into the absolute privilege of it all. These are the sorts of people I WANT to surround myself with. Just breathe in, dive in.
I'm apprehensive. London is a gargantuan city. However will I take it all in? However will I connect to the art scene? When I start thinking about it all, I become really really small.
I'm thrilled. It's London! A city bursting with energy and life and elegance and opportunity.
I'm hopeful. I want my life to revolve around art. Well this is the first step in establishing the credentials to make it all happen. Valiantly forward I go.
I'm tentative. What ultimately are my ambitions? Where am I going to end up? Am I going to pursue a PhD? I fear that my academic style will clash with the one being taught. What if I am not to the same level? Ultimately though, I want to be true to myself. I must be headstrong in my own vision of the way I see things.
It is a mess of emotions, ultimately great. Nothing worth doing was ever easy or without a good dose of fear. I am diving into a pool of art, knowing full well what I want out of my education and knowing what my style of writing and reflecting is. It will be about being true to myself but also being open to the growth and new challenges that will present themselves.
So for now, I'm putting London on hold ;)